Following up on my last article “Soul Sister (or Brother)” — In order to succeed in our quest to tune into our own heart and soul and loving ourselves, we have to be committed.
We must be vigilant around any negative thoughts that are self directed, and turn these thoughts into loving kindness. Notice how deeply conditioned negativity is. Here is a simple example. Suppose you are in school and you just have done poorly on a test (by your standards). What is your first inclination? Is it to tell yourself how wonderful you are for even trying to do your best on the test (compassion)? Is it to find all of the ways that you have been successful in this situation (loving kindness)? Or are you more inclined to belittle and berate yourself for not measuring up, for not being good enough (self-degradation)? Unless we have been trained to the contrary, when we experience a perceived failure, we will jump to feelings of shame and disgrace almost immediately, because of our conditioning. It won’t even occur to us to look at the positive aspects of the situation. And each time we tell ourselves how wrong we are, or how miserably we have fallen short, guess what happens in our computer brain? It records and stores the data as unsuccessful and then the idea of failure gets triggered every time we think we haven’t measured up.
It’s high time for our brains to be programmed with new information. Catch yourself before you go into the dramatic negative (or if you have already slipped into that mode, wake up now and stop what you are doing). Try having a list available for referencing, either in your head or on hard copy, of all the ways that you are utterly Magnificent — even if it is how you floss your teeth. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as you believe it. Just find everything possible to love about yourself. Every single person on the planet has something extraordinary to offer. And not bringing forward whatever that is, which of course, cannot be done in the absence of self-love, is the root of all misery and suffering. So, start practicing how to love yourself, bunions, warts and all.
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Excerpt from page 198-199 of my book, “Happily Ever After Right Now… Stop Searching! Start Celebrating!”
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